Don’t Forget About Me

I’ve been spiraling since July. Or was it May? I don’t know. It’s hard to remember. The months coalesce into weeks, into days, into hours. It gets a lot harder to get out of the quicksand when depression and self-hate slowly drown me the more months that pass me by before I even start dreaming….

Happy Pills

People have always told me that I get stuck in fantasy. Exist way too long weaving dreams in my head that I barely register time going by. I guess that’s why I’m stuck at this window. Behind this small sheet of glass lives everything I thought I would be. Every little thought I let myself…

Welcome To My Black Parade

The idea that you are alone or the idea that you are an individual is not enough. It’s false. It’s a distortion. You are the thing and the observer simultaneously and that’s what creates the illusion of self. If the universe was a dolphin, then basically our bodies would be a fishing net. We’re all…

Barry

I like his face. I want to run my fingers along his skin and sign my name. It’s mostly selfish because I know the only reason that I want to is just so everybody can see that he is mine. Is that too much to ask? I think about all the things that I want…

Catatonic

My back hit the mud at the bottom of the pit with a thud. I felt like I had been falling for hours but when I landed, I could have sworn it had only been seconds. Sort of like the blink of an eye. Sort of like spiraling through bad decisions until your body cannot…

Supercut

“Who can remember pain once it’s over. All that remains of it is a shadow. Not in the mind even, in the flesh. Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind” The love of my life hasn’t talked to me in weeks. I am slowly dissolving in the pool…

Pacing

Pacing. It always starts with the goddamned pacing. My footsteps were quiet against the linoleum floor, and my fingers ran against the walls and tables. This was supposed to calm me, so how come I feel worse.  Bedroom, fridge, kitchen, couch, repeat. My mum, bless her heart, always used to say I have ants in…

Blackout

My scented candle won’t stop flickering; this is extremely annoying. The electricity is off so I have two choices, scare myself to death with my over imagination in the dark or with the shadows being illuminated by my unsettled candlelight. I usually can’t sit still because my body always feels there’s an insect crawling somewhere…

Unmasked

I haven’t looked at myself in a while. I mean, really looked. Stared at my face and ran my fingers against all the scars. You never notice that you have been avoiding mirrors until you catch your reflection in one of them. And then suddenly, you can see it all. The tiredness that clings to…

My little black book

December 1st I wear my sadness on my chest like it’s a beautiful ornament that everyone needs to see. It weighs me down, dragging my body closer to the ground with each passing day, but I wear it still. No one can see it, but my shoulders are always downcast from the weight of it…